Jokes

Mike's legacy of laughter lives on. In passing, he left behind stacks of handwritten jokes on small scraps of paper, a testament to his enduring humor and his desire to bring joy to others. This page is a celebration of Mike's spirit and the laughter he spread wherever he went.

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel A realist sees a freight train The train engineer sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.

I don't always hear how my family is doing, but when I do, it's on my police scanner.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes - after that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes

I was buying a banana, an apple, & 2 eggs.

Cashier, "You must be single."

I answered, "Wow, how did you know that?"

Cashier, "Because you're ugly."

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster

I finally bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.

Joke - A Guy Walks into a bar video.mp4

Guy walks into a bar, crowded bar waving his pistol. Yells "I have a 1911, .45 caliber colt with a 10 round magazine plus one in the chamber & I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife?" - Voice from back of room, "You need more ammo!"

Dr.- They're fighting a huge fire across the street or we didn't want you to wake up or think the operation had failed!

Patient awakes after an operation, to find himself in a dark room.

"Why are the blinds closed?"

A Guy in a restaurant has to pass gas. The music was really loud so he timed his "passing" with the beat of the music.
After several songs he felt better, finished his coffee, & noticed everyone's staring at him.
He remembered he was listening to his iPod!!!

After his physical, old man asks:
Dr., "Tell me, how long am I going to live?"
Dr., "Don't worry, you'll probably live to be 80."
Man, "But Dr., I am 80."
Dr., - "See? What did I tell ya?"

Joke - The Teacher and the Thief video.mp4

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